When you’re in the mountains, on the trail the best jacket you can carry is one you don’t even know is there and when you have it one you hardly notice that it’s on.  The Outdoor Research Helium ($140) jacket is that jacket.  It’s light, minimal and functional.

Our most compressible storm shell is so light it practically floats, or at least it’s so light that you won’t notice you’re carrying it until a sudden downpour bursts into your day. When a big, exposed objective puts you on route for a full day stretching into dark, this jacket packs into its own pocket and can be clipped to your harness for quick access if you need protection from rain, wind, or cooling temps. And it includes all the features needed for true functionality, without any bulky excess.

Lab Series, is my favorite men’s grooming brand and they recently introduced a new product, Max LS Age-Less Face Cream ($65). It comes at a price, as do all their products, but thier products are not only obviously high quality they actually work (for me).

According to Lab Series the Max LS Age Less Face Cream is specifically designed around the science of skin cell longevity, Sirtuin technology:

Scientists have discovered “longevity genes” in our skin (Sirtuins) that, when activated, increase the life of our skin cells. After an 8-week test of consumers, Lab series found a 98% boost in skin hydration and 90% reduction of lines and wrinkle appearance. Designed for all skin types.

Halo Reach beta will be out May 3rd and it looks like it’ll be amazing.  Jetpacks!

CrazyDomains.com.au not to be outdone by the likes of GoDaddy, brought in an old favorite to shoot a commercial that’s too hot for Aussie TV (big surprise).

It’s been awhile (years) since TiVo last got an interface update, the TiVo Premiere ($300) is everything I could have hoped for.  The new interface finally takes full advantage of HDTV’s and the internet.  You can search across your standard cable, YouTube, the web, Netflix, Amazon On Demand and Blockbuster.  There is even new content from Radio and FrameChannel.  Standard TiVo Premiere will over 45 hours of HD recording, E-SATA for external storage, video up to 1080p, and a single CableCARD slot.  The XL model ($500) steps it up with 150 hours of HD recording and adds THX certifications.

I doubt, however, that most Dads have put this much thought into what they want nor are they quite this graphic.  I grabbed this from Craigslist, you can see the original post there as long as it’s still up, but here is a copy.  Note that the language is pretty NSFW.

Dearest Wife, this is what I want for Fathers Day.

Every year you ask what I want for Father’s Day with the kids (conveniently?) sitting right in front of us, and every year I provide G-rated suggestions because (call me a prude) its sorta not appropriate to ask for sexual favors in front of the kids. So in the off chance you’re reading the rants or looking for a poolboy, even though we don’t have a pool, here’s what I really want:

I want to wake up to you sucking my cock. Defined, this means that I’m asleep and you go down on me while I’m asleep, not after 45 minutes of me pretending to be asleep and dreaming of winning the blow job lottery. Please skip the requisite if-I-have-to sigh and eye rolling for one day.

I want a breakfast including eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit. No carb-packed wheat-byproducts, nothing frozen, nothing out of a box, and especially nothing in individually wrapped servings.

I want to have a fun day doing anything except what is on the honey-do list. Anything on the do-honey list is perfectly OK.

Examples:
Giving me grief while watching Nascar Sunday is not a good idea.
Giving me head while watching Nascar Sunday is a great idea.
Asking me to dig some holes in the backyard is not a good idea.
Asking me to plug your hole in your backdoor is a great idea.
Taking the kids out for a while and letting me nap would be nice.
Taking my cock out and sucking it after my nap would be nicer.

For dinner, I want a slab of red meat. Fresh, premium, not shrink wrapped. BBQ’d, not nuked or broiled. Rare. So rare a good veterinarian can revive it. A tall, cold beer. And fresh vegetables on the side, although it’s unlikely I’ll eat them, so I don’t know why I bothered mentioning them.

After the kiddies are asleep, I want sex. Uninhibited, sweaty, porn star sex. Gone for the night is the bored housewife in boring clothes reading a boring book, I am going to be the dominant male and you to be my submissive anything-to-please-daddy fuck-slut.

I want you wearing something erotic. Defined, ‘erotic’ includes leather, lace, high heels, crotchless, racy, etc. ‘Erotic’ probably includes that thing you bought for Valentines Day two years ago that never made it out of the drawer. ‘Erotic’ does not include baggy jammies, grandma underwear, furry slippers, sweatpants, sweatshirts, sweatsocks, or the asexual garments you wear the other 364 days.

I want my cock sucked again, deep throated, like you can’t get enough, and when I cum, I want you to savor it like it’s Godiva white chocolate. Don’t give me that ‘it tastes funny’crap; lick it up and suck it up and smile all the way.

I want you fucking me like its the last dick you’ll be getting for a while. Acceptable positions are on your knees, on top, doggie style, bent over, hanging from the ceiling, pretty much anything except missionary on the bed. Slap your ass cheeks, rub your clit, pinch your nipples, talk dirty, suck me often, and most importantly, finger your ass. Finger your ass until its ready for my cock, then beg for my cock up your ass and fuck it like you did with your pussy.

When I cum, yes, I’m cumming in your ass. I don’t care if you get the runs tomorrow, I am cumming in your ass. Because it feels great. And then I’ll fuck your ass until I’m limp and resigned to waiting another 365 days to tap your ass again.

Because Dear Wife, it’s Father’s Day, my day, and that’s what I really want.

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“Ya girl, let me see those perfect tanned breast.  I’ll give you a free Jose Cuervo T-Shirt.”  Hilarious.

Every year around Spring Break and Mardi Gras young women contract Girls Gone Wild syndrome at alarming rates. The GGW Clinic in Sarasota Springs, NY is doing its part to keep this terrible illness from becoming a pandemic.

The Withings WiFi Body Scale ($160) measures your weight, body-fat percentage and BMI which it then sends it to your iPhone, Google Health, or even Twitter by way of integrated WiFi.  Seems like a great way to monitor your weight without having to use paper tracking or having to input all these numbers on your own.  And aesthetically speaking the scale would look great on any bathroom floor. 

Want to run up Mt. Kilimanjaro? Do it today. The NordicTrack x7i Interactive Incline Trainer ($2,000) is a map-equipped treadmill with a seven-inch touch screen, the treadmill raises and lowers itself to mimic the actual topography of the terrain you set as your own custom hiking route.  The x7i download maps over over Wi-Fi from a Web site called iFit. You can download the popular routes from iFit, as well as you can also design maps on your computer over any terrain covered by Google Maps. While you running, the srceen will show the map and snapshots of passing landmarks.